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Why Become a Foster Parent?
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There is a significant and constant need for foster parents in Monroe County.
On average, there are approximately 470 children in Monroe County Foster Care at any given time, including infants, school-age children, teens, and sibling groups. There is a particular need for families to care for older teens and children with special needs.
Foster care provides safe and nurturing homes for children who have been temporarily removed from their biological parents due to abuse or neglect, parental substance abuse or mental illness, or otherwise unsafe living conditions.
The primary goal of foster care is always family reunification.
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“Poverty, mental health, drugs—these are some of the factors that can contribute to parents not being able to provide adequate care for their children who end up in foster care,” said Dani Sharkey, senior caseworker for Child Protective Services Investigations for the Monroe County Department of Human Services.
Sharkey helps supervise a team of caseworkers who intervene when there is a concern for a child’s safety within a family. She also manages her own caseload, coordinating with legal and making safety plans with parents to ensure the well-being of children involved with the child welfare system.
“I’ve seen many parents (or guardians) who love their kids but are caught up in a cycle of unfortunate circumstances,” she said. “And I’ve witnessed a termination hearing where no one showed up for the child; the parents just abandoned him. That was heart-wrenching.”
She has a unique perspective because not only does she work for CPS, but she is also a foster parent.
“I became a foster parent before I started working for CPS,” said Sharkey. “It was hard at first. The legal aspect was tough to experience with no real understanding of the process. I realized these kids needed a voice—and an advocate who understands the support they need as they enter foster care.”
Sharkey went back to college for her social work degree, interned with CPS in her senior year, and passed the caseworker exam. She’s been a foster parent for 12 years and a CPS caseworker for nine years.
“Being a foster parent is selfless,” she said. “Many of our kids have come from places of severe neglect. We show them what unconditional love feels like, so that if they leave (to go back to their biological family), we’ve made a positive change. Our hope is to positively change the child’s trajectory. We show them they are supported, loved, and free to dream about who they can become. We want them to know they have our support, always.”
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“Imagine being removed from everything you know (as a child entering foster care), sometimes even being split from your siblings too,” Sharkey said. “Nine times out of 10, that child (or children) still wants to be with their family. It’s very hard for them, so we try to understand their needs and to be positive, loving, and nurturing for them.”
Over the past decade, Sharkey and her wife have fostered many children, even taking in sibling groups so they wouldn’t be split up. By the time COVID hit in 2020, they had 10 children at home, which posed some challenges.
“You have trauma, medical diagnoses, and often mental health concerns with these kids,” she said. “It’s ongoing and ever-changing; some days are harder than others. However, it’s not about us. We do it to break the generational cycle through love and consistency.”
In her role at CPS, Sharkey would often hear from children that their daily goals were simply to “have breakfast,” “go to school,” or to “get through the day.” She believes that she has the opportunity to elevate those goals as a foster parent, so kids can pursue whatever they want to become in their lives.
“One of the proudest moments thus far was when my adopted daughter (who came from severe neglect and years of maltreatment) told us she wanted to be a prosecutor,” said Sharkey. “She is being inducted into the National Junior Honor Society and looking at colleges for pre-law. When she came to us, she was in fifth grade at a kindergarten reading level, having missed hundreds of days of school. Now, she dares to dream.”
While acknowledging the challenges that come with being a foster parent, Sharkey maintains that the rewards outweigh them. She knows she has made a difference when her foster children continue to keep in touch long after they have returned to their families.
“The response I get most from people (who haven’t fostered) is, ‘I could never be a foster parent. I could never give the child back,’ said Sharkey. “To which I respond, ‘Do you think it’s easy for me?’ But we do it because we want to do right by kids and give them a sense of family and unconditional love and support.
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Supports for Foster Parents
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“Once you become a foster parent, you get your own Homefinding caseworker who meets with you at least twice a year,” she said. “Monroe County provides a monthly subsidy and health insurance from day one, including a new care visit to Starlight Pediatrics within 24-48 hours of the child’s arrival.”
Monroe County provides a daily board rate based on the age and needs of the child. Additional financial supports include a diaper and clothing allowance, activity allotment, childcare funding for working foster parents, and Medicaid coverage for the child’s medical care and counseling services, as necessary.
“People considering foster care shouldn’t be worried about the financial burden,” Sharkey continued. “There is a lot of support from the county and state through subsidies and other programs; it’s not income-based.”
Sometimes, a family member will step in as part of a safety plan to temporarily care for a child to keep them from entering the foster care system. The Kinship Support Team (KST) is the unit that gets involved during removal when the child is placed with a family relative or friend. The KST provides support options to the caregiver, including financial and mental health support. The family relative or friend can eventually become a foster parent through the county and court system.
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Monroe County residents who are interested in learning more about becoming a foster parent can attend an information session, held monthly. If you decide that being a foster parent is for you, you will then complete an online application for certification.
A Homefinding caseworker will then schedule a visit to your home and, if basic qualifications are met (including a local child abuse clearance), you will be enrolled in a 10-session NTDC (National Training & Development Curriculum) training class.
After completion of your training and two more home visits, your caseworker will complete your home study and certify you to welcome children into your home as a foster parent.
“Foster parents are trying their best to help, to understand the trauma of the children in their care, and to positively change the outcomes of these kids,” said Sharkey. “Most people fostering just want to help.”
Sharkey said that even though foster care is meant to only be a temporary living situation, kids don’t always return to their biological families if it’s not safe for them. For that reason, she encourages school personnel to recognize foster parents as part of the team.
“We are part of the village,” she said. “Being a foster parent has been one of the most rewarding and difficult things I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t change the experience.”
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